A Letter To Humanity

Dear us,

How are all of you doing? Are you doing okay? Have you smiled today or read something calming? I know all of us have been through a lot — for each summer we’ve lived to see, our hearts and minds have experienced great joy, sorrow, love, fear, doubt and wonder. But especially now, nearly all of us are just a little more scared; uncertain, of not only what the world holds for us, but also of our place in it. I wish I could do something to ease your pain, but I suppose this is the way it must be– with each of us adjusting our armours and continuing to fight our battles. Often, I wonder whether the swamp we wade through in the present will eventually open out into a pond of blue calm. But reluctant as I am to admit it, at most points in life, we’re going to be surrounded by murky waters and the only thing we CAN do is to train ourselves to become the best swimmers we can be. 🙂

And so, with all these confusing thoughts in my brain, I write this letter from my heart, with the hope that it will touch mine, yours and all of ours. ❤

These days, it feels almost as if I have all the time in the world, and while it brings opportunities for new ideas and self-reflection, it can also warp our innermost demons into weapons of self-sabotage. This is frightening to say the very least and this fear led me to think about…vulnerabilities.

So often, we try leading perfect lives, showing our best selves on social media, desperately trying to find true love like the fictional relationships we adore and constantly measuring our worth in terms of others’ achievements. Prof. Santos (Professor of Psychology) from Yale University illustrates this annoying feature of our mind- its tendency to think in relative terms than absolutes, and the easiest way for it to do so is to latch onto other people. Social media feeds our minds statistically incorrect information about others’ happiness/life satisfaction- further fuelling our insecurity- which in turn compels us to continue being part of the toxic chain- pretending to lead the perfect life.

But somewhere in this game of hide and seek, we forget that our lives are different, our stories aren’t picture perfect because they’re REAL. Even when we know that each of us is sparring with internal battles, barely crawling out alive each time, why do we hide them under masks woven of smiles? Why is it that we find it so easy to hide our true selves, even to those we call our closest friends; and so difficult to bare the storm brewing in our hearts?

I feel vulnerability isn’t limited to trusting another with only our struggles, it is simply being honest — honest about our thoughts, experiences and emotions and authenticity in their expression Doesn’t sound THAT impossible when I put it that way, right? I began to realize this from some experiences of my own in recent times- a time before which I believed I could traverse life’s highway without letting anyone in, that expressing with honesty would make me weak, an object of pity, that it would steal my independence. But Life possesses its mysterious ways of humbling you and it was this dark and lonely time, that forced me to let my friends and family make a crack in my walls, during which I realized there indeed ARE certain people who are willing to accept me, that sharing doesn’t always have to be disastrous, that sharing is in fact, STRENGTHENING.

Practising being vulnerable not only makes us humbly accept that we can’t make it on our own, but it also shines a light on the fact that the emotions of all of us are inter-dependent and co-existent, that surprisingly, others ARE capable of understanding what we’re going through, that they can relate to us because they themselves have experienced similar things. Vulnerability is also the most powerful tool to redraw the lines of loyalty, to know deep down, whom you can truly call your own, and who only stick around in happier times.

They say nothing worth having ever comes easy and maybe, just maybe, if we stopped running away from seeking the answers to this painful questions, rather committed to draw inspiration from each other’s’ unique stories, we could begin the long and painful process of healing. But the good part? At least we’d know that we don’t have to walk that path alone.

I also think we unleash the true power of vulnerability when we open our hearts to healing — when we believe in the idea that hope, love and beauty are in abundance and that we are free to rejoice in that reality. It is easy to become cynical — in choosing self-pity over hope- but in doing so, we choose to limit, rather than empower ourselves. Give yourself freedom to dream, dear ones, to imagine that you will be happy over and over again- until that point where it becomes your belief.

– In one of my favourite films, ‘Me Before You’ (adapted from a book of the same name), Will Traynor is shown to be a man who likes to live big, who works hard to create a life he truly loves- until a catastrophic road accident forces him into a wheelchair for life, forever branded a quadriplegic. Life seems bleak until young, vivacious Louisa Clark appears in the form of his caretaker. Throughout the movie, Lou manages to melt Will’s cold demeanour and earn his friendship. The film beautifully portrays a mutual sense of dependence and respect: Lou reintroduces Will to how beautiful life can be while Will pushes her to break through her small-town, ambition-inhibiting background, go out there and conquer the world. He says something that deeply resonated with me, “Live boldly, Clark. Push yourself. Don’t settle. Knowing you still have possibilities is a luxury. Just live well. Just live.” –

Art in all forms — film, literature, music, dance, often kindles that deep-seated fire within, which encourage us to push beyond the bad days, for life is full of so much more, which is worth living for. I know how torturous that can be, I truly do. But that’s the power of love and belief, isn’t it? You can give up on it, but it doesn’t give up on you. You can find in tucked away in the most unexpected places, waiting patiently till you are ready to embrace it. Sometimes, belief is the sole force that can see you through. Let us all believe in happiness despite setbacks, hope despite grief and in the healing powers of family, friendship and our own being.

*

A lot of things are always happening around us — even when we are not aware of them. It is horrifying that we need to be witness to death and discrimination to restart conversations on mental health and equality. Despite countless centuries having gone by, we still do not fully understand that every being must have the right to just be themselves; not because it is written in any man-made “book of justice”, but simply by the virtue of being ALIVE. But now that the conversation has begun, the least we can do is to keep fuelling it with our collective passion, for to let it die down and go back to the toxic reality we call “normal” would be dishonourable to the millions who have suffered, are still suffering, and will continue to suffer unless we do something NOW.

Of late, most of us have seen several pieces of advice construing different tit-bits going around and nearly all of them have one thing in common — they encourage us to check in with those we call our own. And although this is a very noble thought, let’s face it: most of us just aren’t cut out for listening to others without judgment, for offering advice that will actually make the other person feel better, for committing to a relationship so raw or for the responsibility of keeping secrets and harbouring grief like it were our very own.

As Hazel tells Augustus in ‘The Fault in Our Stars’, “Sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them.”

Most of the times, we end up giving unwanted suggestions (albeit with good intention) that we happen to see making its rounds on social media — or worse, dispelling their worries as ‘something of the mind’. The other person doesn’t feel okay at all but since they’d feel even guiltier if they stalled you for longer, they lie about how they feel better now that they’ve talked to you- and both of you walk away — you with a pseudo-sense of accomplishment, and them feeling no better.

I’ve been thinking about how taking care of others doesn’t always necessarily mean sending a literal ‘Are you okay?’ text. It is ALL IN THE VIBE YOU GIVE. Being approachable, gifting smiles, hugs and compliments, appreciating how hard they might have worked to achieve something than constantly worrying about trying to catch up to someone, lending a kind ear, an open heart, a shoulder and our acceptance work more miracles than any advice we might have to offer. A YouTuber I love recently mentioned, that ‘it is important for us to acknowledge that other people experience the same thing in completely different ways and for us to listen at times, listen with an open heart before bringing our own thoughts into a conversation’. She mentioned this as a white woman, living in the USA in the aftermath of the Black Lives Matter movement but I think it is beautiful advice for life, in general. ❤

Each of us is constantly changing and navigating new experiences and emotional baggage and expecting the world to remain static lead to immense disappointment and insecurity. But well, that doesn’t stop our minds from doing it anyway. (let us call it annoying feature of the mind #2) In this huge space filled with different people, it is impossible for one person to completely understand the trove of life experiences another holds. We expect unreasonable things when in fact, it is often too difficult for us to even ACCEPT this change- to let go of that little bubble we thought we’d be able to live in and be happy for forever. In times like these, I have come to believe that it is best we attempt to silence our inner chatter — roiling with our own opinions and beliefs of how things SHOULD be — if only for a moment — to recognize and acknowledge others’ emotions as equally worthy of being heard, even if we might not always be able to understand them.

*

While it is my firmest belief that we must take care of ourselves, just like we would for our closest friends, I also think that caring for community and not just self is our onus as humans — that is why we’re an entire race and not just one almighty, invincible, flawless man/woman; why our deepest fears, desires and dreams are mutually understood across the globe, transcending boundaries of land, culture, language and colour. Sharing and having heart-to-heart conversations don’t always have to be explicit or involve words — they blossom in smiles and good vibes; in the unsaid goodness of our hearts.

With all this being said (or hastily scribbled, in my case 🙂 ), I cannot overlook the fact that at some point, we WILL feel that we’ve given too much time and effort, too much of ourselves away to people who didn’t deserve it. Learning the difference between caring for others and carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders is a lifelong journey, but I hope that one day, all of us will be walking that path. When it feels too much, we ARE allowed to step back, lie down and breathe- breathe in the air that is all ours and just belong to ourselves for some time. After all, we are the only ones who truly know what it takes, to be us.

It isn’t simply limited to mental health anymore, it is about being accountable for the core that constitutes humanity, what constitutes love — the love that makes us thrive and urges us to see another day. It is not about being HUMANE, it is simply, about being authentically HUMAN.

And so, if all of us contributed to transforming this dream from utopia to reality, I think the human race would witness one of the most radical, revolutionary, metamorphic cycles in the history of the universe- us, as living beings opening our hearts and scars to others and in turn, equally giving space, love and comfort, to heal those of others- all of us united by the blood we call humanity.

Let us take care of ourselves, of those we call our own and all those around us.

Lots of love and light ,

~Harshita

Resources That Have Helped Me:

• The Daily Shine podcast (available as a free podcast on Spotify or as part of the Shine app)

Songs:

• Magic Shop by BTS
• Epiphany by BTS
• Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles
• Here For You by Firehouse
• Coffee by beabadoobee
• Keep On by Sasha Sloan
• smiling when i die by Sasha Sloan
• Baptisms by Radical Face